is that even possible, i ask myself. on the one hand you're trying to remain calm...treat both success and failure as but two sides of the same coin. and you can remind yourself to do that in most situations. or at least some.
but when someone you think knows you inside out, who has no reason to criticise you without meaning it (or at least without there being some truth in it) does so, then the anger (why are they being so mean?), disbelief (how can they say that - don't they know how far from the truth that really is?) and self-pity (no one really understands or knows me) can begin to, quite quickly, turn to dismay (am i really like that then? is my self-image in my head not what people see me as?).
it's hard to maintain equanimity then. because the hurt stings. more so because it comes from where you least expect it to. so you tend to begin doubting yourself and go a bit down under. what you need in these situations though, is a dash of gumption. because even if your loved ones are right, they are looking at it from their perspective. it is their right. not yours. it might be the moment, their state of mind, the situation, that's making them think that way.
and if you reflect a bit, you will think of several concrete examples when you know that your self image is not wrong, it was perhaps just at a different place and time which may be eclipsed to them for now. but they have sen it in the past, and will see it again in future. there can be no doubt about that. and most importantly, whether you're seeing their perspective now or not, and they're seeing your perspective now or not, both exist.
so take a deep breath, dig in and draw up the positive self image which exists and conjure that image up with gumption. which brings back the equilibrium. the equanimity.
So my two thoughts for this year. find the gumption. and don't loose the equanimity
but when someone you think knows you inside out, who has no reason to criticise you without meaning it (or at least without there being some truth in it) does so, then the anger (why are they being so mean?), disbelief (how can they say that - don't they know how far from the truth that really is?) and self-pity (no one really understands or knows me) can begin to, quite quickly, turn to dismay (am i really like that then? is my self-image in my head not what people see me as?).
it's hard to maintain equanimity then. because the hurt stings. more so because it comes from where you least expect it to. so you tend to begin doubting yourself and go a bit down under. what you need in these situations though, is a dash of gumption. because even if your loved ones are right, they are looking at it from their perspective. it is their right. not yours. it might be the moment, their state of mind, the situation, that's making them think that way.
and if you reflect a bit, you will think of several concrete examples when you know that your self image is not wrong, it was perhaps just at a different place and time which may be eclipsed to them for now. but they have sen it in the past, and will see it again in future. there can be no doubt about that. and most importantly, whether you're seeing their perspective now or not, and they're seeing your perspective now or not, both exist.
so take a deep breath, dig in and draw up the positive self image which exists and conjure that image up with gumption. which brings back the equilibrium. the equanimity.
So my two thoughts for this year. find the gumption. and don't loose the equanimity
No comments:
Post a Comment