life throws up strange challenges at times. actually make that most of the time. the latest challenge on my mind being: to quit, or not to quit. my job, that is. there are so many questions on my mind. am i a quitter? am i not capable of facing challenges? what if i am actually no good at my job? i am justified in wanting to quit, right? i am pretty much at the peak of my career, i know i've really worked had to get here and i deserve it, so does it make sense to throw all that away now? dealing with the confusion itself is a challenge! forget the challenging circumstances that have led me to ask myself these questions in the first place. i guess that most people faced with such situations ask themselves pretty much the same questions and are as tormented about making their decisions. and i must admit, i don't really have any quick fix solution to offer for this kind of dilema.
but here's what i've arrived at after much contemplation. that at times, the things you fear the most in life, and the ones that you keep avoiding or postponing, are the ones that will keep coming back to haunt you. also, you will never really know how bad or good your decision is, till you've actually tried it out right? most importantly, i have a sneaking suspicion that the more you hold on to 'taking the practical approach' or 'making the correct decision' the farther away you will be from it. so i have decided to go with my gut feel. what people in some societies consider to be as, if not more important as the brain and its messages. the belief is that messages from the brain tell us one thing, but messages from the pit of your stomach (or navel) may tell you another, and at times the latter is what enlightened beings have followed, with success, in their quest for 'truth'.
so therefore, i have made my decision based on my instinct and the thought that i need to let go and open myself to change. it is probably then that the seeds of change will change actually find the space to come in and take root....to help me grow vertically and laterally. most importantly, i have made peace....with my decision. and that, i believe, has been the biggest challenge in this entire process.
