Missing....

today i am missing...

.....the smell of wet pine

.....watching the mountains gradually dissapear under a veil of grey clouds as i sip my morning cup of tea

.....my late evening solitary swim under the starlit sky

.....the sound of the mountains, wind and river

.....a lazy breakfast of freshly baked croissants, eggs and ham

but i musn't complain, for amidst the emptiness of missing these things, remains the fullness of the memories. and finally that is what matters.

The View from my Window

looking out of my office window today and thinking "well it's going to be my last week here", brings me to a question a friend asked me two days ago. which was "tell us honestly, will you miss this ofice?"

i didn't answer that then, but at this moment, as i gaze out on the different shades of green tree tops set off against the azure blue sky i know that what i will miss is the view. and some of the people i have met in this office. makes me a little sad, that after two and a half years this is all that i will miss....but it is the truth.

The Lightness of Being

a friend said to me today that she was feeling relieved, lighter, happier. 'the lightness of being' i said. absolute joy. the feeling that can sometimes just come out of nowhere. or many places. for no reason. or for many reasons. whatever the source, its a feeling that liberates you from 'heaviness' of the heart and soul. this week has been a week of lightness for me. and when i'm feeling like that.....i don't want to dissect it....i just hope that the 'bull run', as some would say, continues!

Feast of Love

it was a surprisingly nice movie. and it had morgan freeman, whom i absolutely adore. it's a sweet tale of love....in many lives.....and how love can bring you great joy and also, unfortunately, equally great sorrow. it's about grabbing life....and chosing to live it for love....even if you know the person you love may not last for ever, but the love will.

it's about loosing love...and finding it again, with a different person. and it's also about letting your love flow......and not letting it drown in the abyss of loss.

it's about setting people you love free. my favourite line from the movie is 'when you love someone, you don't grudge them their love.' what a wonderful thought!

it's a hard act to follow perhaps....but something i certainly aspire for.

Peaceful Decisions

life throws up strange challenges at times. actually make that most of the time. the latest challenge on my mind being: to quit, or not to quit. my job, that is. there are so many questions on my mind. am i a quitter? am i not capable of facing challenges? what if i am actually no good at my job? i am justified in wanting to quit, right? i am pretty much at the peak of my career, i know i've really worked had to get here and i deserve it, so does it make sense to throw all that away now? dealing with the confusion itself is a challenge! forget the challenging circumstances that have led me to ask myself these questions in the first place. i guess that most people faced with such situations ask themselves pretty much the same questions and are as tormented about making their decisions. and i must admit, i don't really have any quick fix solution to offer for this kind of dilema.

but here's what i've arrived at after much contemplation. that at times, the things you fear the most in life, and the ones that you keep avoiding or postponing, are the ones that will keep coming back to haunt you. also, you will never really know how bad or good your decision is, till you've actually tried it out right? most importantly, i have a sneaking suspicion that the more you hold on to 'taking the practical approach' or 'making the correct decision' the farther away you will be from it. so i have decided to go with my gut feel. what people in some societies consider to be as, if not more important as the brain and its messages. the belief is that messages from the brain tell us one thing, but messages from the pit of your stomach (or navel) may tell you another, and at times the latter is what enlightened beings have followed, with success, in their quest for 'truth'.

so therefore, i have made my decision based on my instinct and the thought that i need to let go and open myself to change. it is probably then that the seeds of change will change actually find the space to come in and take root....to help me grow vertically and laterally. most importantly, i have made peace....with my decision. and that, i believe, has been the biggest challenge in this entire process.

Blythe Banter

welcome to blythe banter! i started off on a rainy evening looking to find a word for 'free spirit', which is what i wanted my blog to represent. the dictionary meaing of 'blithe' is joyous, carefree. close, but not perfect. 'blythe', i found out, is a name meaning 'free spirit'. perfect. so blythe banter it is. you can expect all sorts of banter here...from the most innane to passionate to serious to comic. the common thread will be the 'blytheness of being' and hopefully not the sort that is unbearably so. and when posting your comments, do try and let go....and just be...yourself.